It's finally come to an end. My syf journey, that is. I can't believe it's over so fast :( all the trainings and staying back after school - over, just like that. I'll definitely miss wearing my costume, walking around school and freaking everyone out. I'll miss having something to look forward to after a long day of school. Yes, believe or not, I LIKE staying back after school for cca. I actually enjoy it. A lot. And now I don't get to stay back anymore.. The whole syf journey really did pass by in a flash. We showcased our play to the school twice! The first showcase was for us to have a chance to perform in front of an audience before the actual syf and to gather feedback! We were all too shy so we didn't announce it to the school and invited our close friends instead. So not many people knew about it. You might not believe me but I'm sec four and that was my first time ever performing. I have stage fright you know! Like what nonsense is this for a DRAMA club member to have stage fright. Anyway, our first showcase was 3rd April, Wednesday. After supp we all rushed to get ready cos supp ends at 4 and our performance starts at 4.15. Jordan and i ended supp early cos we had a test then Rika called to say she couldn't come cos she had an eye infection :o we were all thinking "shit sia how are we going to find a replacement at such short notice?! Our friends are expecting a good show" things were going haywire and we were all panicky. Plus the sec threes were having some English week program in the Audi and weren't out by 4!! We were all in the drama room rushing around cos it was 4.10 and the Audi was still occupied and people were asking us when they could enter and we had nobody playing Rika's role. It was really chaos in the drama room with everyone changing and shouting and rushing around. Emmalene zoey and Clara eventually decided to split Rikas lines. I never felt so panicky in my life. I looked out from the drama room and saw the Audi about two thirds filled and thought "wah shit that's a lot of people" all I could remember was rushing out of the drama room and entering the Audi from the sides, getting up on stage and our play starting immediately. I was nervous at the start but then started to feel comfortable after the first scene (: I remember how our "boom" echoed and how strong we sounded when we shouted out lines in unison. It was an amazing feeling. There were a few mistakes no doubt but not anything too obvious, thank goodness. After it ended there was a resounding applause and I felt so joyful and thought "we did it" "wow they're all clapping for us" and we got a lot of positive feedback! It was all over twitter "tk drama was amazing" "great show tk drama" and I was so happy the entire day! I finally got over my stage fright and it definitely gave us all the confidence we needed. Right after that we did another performance just for Mdm Haslinda. She said the play "disturbed her" but in a good way haha. The response we got was so good we decided to do another showcase on Monday, 8th April. This time we went all out - made announcements to the school and advertised our showcase a lot! I invited a lot of my classmates from 2G and 4B (: this time it was so rushed! There was no delays whatsoever. At 4.20 sharp we were waiting at the sides of the stage ready to perform. It was almost full house! Mostly people from my level this time so the pressure was on.. Mr Hareesh introduced us and I was ready to get on stage when a woman took over the mic and started a long talk about tk drama, which was honestly quite boring and I bet everyone was thinking "just get on with the performance already" plus she introduced herself as our trainer wtf she hasn't even watched our play before. The second showcase was quite shitty actually. I was more concerned about the people watching me and was thinking about what they would think of me. And there were so many mistakes made :( it was honestly one of our worst performances ever. I had a pounding headache the entire time, Sidney sprained his ankle and Brandon (the dad) had stomach ache. So yeah, it wasn't the best timing for us. When we ended the audience applauded loudly for us but I couldn't hear anything. I could only hear my own thoughts "ow my head hurts" "that was a bad run" all of us felt so shitty after that performance, almost embarrassed that we didn't do a good job. Instead of boosting our confidence like the first showcase, we just felt like complete failures. But nobody knew it was bad acting because for most people it's your first time watching a play! So of course you'll think it's good. I just watched the play on Isabel's blog though, and it wasn't as bad as I remembered (: only after our showcases people started recognizing drama club as a cca and we were all like temporary celebrities haha Im so proud we got a chance to show the school what tk drama does!
SYF DAY
We were taken out of class the entire day to rehearse and get ready! The night before good luck drama tweets flooded twitter which made me all warm and happy inside :P I bet before our showcase people didnt even know we were training for syf lor!! We practiced in the music room in the morning then did makeup!! Makeup takes about 2 hours. It's not easy okay! And we have to do it ourselves, we don't hire professionals to help. After makeup we had lunch! In our costumes and makeup haha. Many teachers were having their lunch so there were a lot of stares :P the stall owners all stared at us too! Haha I bought food from the Muslim rice stall and the auntie was like "wah my daughter like this kind of thing can I take picture of you?" So Yulie and I posed for a picture 😊 after lunch we moved to the Audi to touch up on makeup and hair and do a full run! The run was pretty good, apart from a few mistakes. It was like 1+ by then? Syf was at 4pm. I wanted to do another run to correct our mistakes but our trainer insisted we save our energy and voice for the real one instead. That kinda scared me, knowing our last practice before syf wasn't perfect. So we played games to past the time instead! We also had this meditating session where we formed a circle and lied down on the stage. We closed our eyes and our trainer spoke words of encouragement to get us focused. And before we knew it we were all rushing to load our props into the van and board the bus. We kinda walked past the classroom blocks to show off our costumes and makeup but I felt retarded after awhile so I face away haha. On the bus nerves started to kick in for everyone. Especially Jordan and Clara ._. I was calm actually cos I've gotten over stage fright and I felt pretty confident with my lines. When we reached acjc there were other schools registering in their costumes with their props as well! Our trainer said we would get nervous when we see them so I just tried not to look at them :\ after unloading our props we went sent to a holding room in the basement! Wah the holding room damn nice sia like esplanade liddat! It was all white with toilets and the Hollywood mirrors with the lightbulbs (: it was so cool!! And there was a wall that was entirely a mirror!! The cast sat in a circle and shared our feelings and everything. And we took a moment to close our eyes and imagine ourselves as our character in the play. I play Jessie, a classmate of Josh who didn't even know him that well but got killed by him for not reason. All my hopes and dreams were crushed because he ended my life. I never got to accomplish all the things I set out to do in life. It was like 15 minutes to show time and everyone was praying and wishing one another all the best. We had a group hug and then it was our time to perform! I really love my drama cast and crew to death. Our seniors from last year and three years ago came to support us! (: the doors to the acjc theatre from backstage are big and black and look really intimidating. Like you're going to meet your doom ._. The facilitator told us once we entered we'd have exactly 5 minutes to prepare before they'd announce our school and we could begin. I was all focused when I entered the stage then I saw mr Koh standing in the middle of the audience waving his hands frantically hahaha I was trying my best not to smile/laugh cos I didn't want to break my focus!! We got into positions on stage left and right and then it was all silent."Tanjong Katong Secondary School presents Bang Bang You're Dead" and my heart almost stopped for awhile. I can't believe it was finally happening. All the training and preparations since September last year were finally beings it to use, it was all for this one 15 minute performance. When the music started and Jordan started moving out I was thinking "this is it". it passed by really fast. The acjc theatre was so huge compared to our tiny Audi that even Sidney sounded soft. I was so scared I couldn't be heard so I shouted my first line "why me?" so loudly my voice cracked. I remember someone blanking out on their line halfway through and thinking "oh shit why" but the show had to go on. When we came out everyone was saying how well it went. Honestly I felt like it wasn't our best performance. I felt like some people were holding back. I wanted to run in and demand a do-over. But there's no point pointing out mistakes now cos its already too late, there's nothing we can do so what's the use of pointing them out and making people feel sad? I was shocked to see Mdm Haslinda, Mr Koh and Mrs Venka standing outside waiting for us. I had no idea they would come down to support us :') tkg apparently watched our performance and they were clapping for us and saying how good it was when we were leaving. They were all so nice (: on the bus everyone was so happy and you could sense relief. Everyone was passing around snacks and chatting but it hit me that that was it. That's the last drama performance of my tk life :( i wasnt proud of our overall performance but at least i was content with my own individual parts (: at school we unloaded our props and took a lot of photos hehe. I wanted to take as many photos as possible since it would be my last time in my costume. Then we (cast crew and seniors) headed to parkway swensens for dinner! There was like 25 of us so we occupied an entire row of tables :P I ordered a mega burger haha you should have seen everyone's faces. They were all so shocked someone my size (ok I admit I'm small) could eat so much. I can eat more than a 19 year old guy wtf. I really enjoyed everyone's company and got to know our seniors better! They were in tk before I joined drama so I didn't know them at all. (Yes I only joined drama in sec two). i thought itll be awkward since i dont know them and the age gap was 3 years but i was so surprised that 19 year olds are about as mature as me. which is not at all haha. when I went home I was listening to One republic and looking through our syf photos and I was so sad and nostalgic that our syf journey had come to an end..
The next day tk dance got their result. They didnt get a distinction and I was so heartbroken to see my friends so upset. I know how disappointed all the dance girls were seeing how they worked so hard for it. It made me so scared to see my results for drama because I know I'll be devastated if we don't do well. And this time I'm sec four and a cca leader so I'll have to be the one comforting everyone and giving words of encouragement. But if the results aren't good ill just want to curl up in a corner and cry and I'll want someone to comfort me instead. Because Im familiar with that sense of failure and disappointment, I felt it for our syf two years ago. I didn't even act, i only did lighting but I cried like a baby the entire day when we got a bronze... I know people say results don't matter and as long as you put on your best performance it'll be okay but we all know that's bullshit. Results DO matter. It's solid proof of your hard work and capability. That's why I'm so nervous and scared now cos I don't want to feel that same sense of failure two years ago :( if you see me crying or whatever tmr just leave me alone cos ill cry even more if anybody tries to comfort me. We'll get our results tmr at 3pm but usually it gets released earlier so ill be all tense the entire day and keep refreshing the syf page on my phone. please please please I pray for good news tmr.

ANYWAY. Back to happy stuff, here's some photos summarizing my syf journey with tk drama club (: